Winter Blues
It is getting really cold in New York. Global warming has gone into hibernation. Old man winter has come to stake his forte. Tomorrow morning it is going to be negative seven degrees Fahrenheit windchill.
Buckle up boys and girls. The deep freeze is here. Here are my two cents on how to avoid being frozen and/or victimized by this annual natural disaster in Concrete Jungle New York
1. Do not drive your hoopty.
Thas right. If you own a car thas over seven years old with old tires and shaky transmission and tires as smooth as a babies bottom, its probably best that you do not drive it when there is ice covering every square inch of the metropolis. You will more than likely have your car careen of a major highway, dilly and dolly on local roads and perpetually annoy everyone who has all terrain vehicles such as those fancy dancy SUV's and such.
2. Get a Lover
Hmm Hmmm, find another pair of thighs to rub on besides your own. If you don not do this you could freeze to death in your own bed. The clinical term for this is becoming frigid.
3. Drink Hot Chocolate
Never forget to drink HOT HOT chocolate. It has been rumored that a cold intestine is a dead intestine. Keep those suckers warm. You are going to need them to eat those summer hot dogs when it finally gets warm again 20 years from now.
4. Read My Blog.
Thas right. Nothing in this world is going to keep you more warm than this lil blog of mine. Come here for wit, commentary and entertainment. Come you huddled masses shivering in the cold. Come on to my blog and feel the warmth of my words. After all, what else are you going to do anyway? It's too cold for even reindeer games right now. Even Santa and his helpers took the night off.
Do these four things blogville, and you winter will be short, bitter, and merciless. If you don't, it will be long, bitter and deadly. Peace out. I am the The Black Rider, and these are my words.
Buckle up boys and girls. The deep freeze is here. Here are my two cents on how to avoid being frozen and/or victimized by this annual natural disaster in Concrete Jungle New York
1. Do not drive your hoopty.
Thas right. If you own a car thas over seven years old with old tires and shaky transmission and tires as smooth as a babies bottom, its probably best that you do not drive it when there is ice covering every square inch of the metropolis. You will more than likely have your car careen of a major highway, dilly and dolly on local roads and perpetually annoy everyone who has all terrain vehicles such as those fancy dancy SUV's and such.
2. Get a Lover
Hmm Hmmm, find another pair of thighs to rub on besides your own. If you don not do this you could freeze to death in your own bed. The clinical term for this is becoming frigid.
3. Drink Hot Chocolate
Never forget to drink HOT HOT chocolate. It has been rumored that a cold intestine is a dead intestine. Keep those suckers warm. You are going to need them to eat those summer hot dogs when it finally gets warm again 20 years from now.
4. Read My Blog.
Thas right. Nothing in this world is going to keep you more warm than this lil blog of mine. Come here for wit, commentary and entertainment. Come you huddled masses shivering in the cold. Come on to my blog and feel the warmth of my words. After all, what else are you going to do anyway? It's too cold for even reindeer games right now. Even Santa and his helpers took the night off.
Do these four things blogville, and you winter will be short, bitter, and merciless. If you don't, it will be long, bitter and deadly. Peace out. I am the The Black Rider, and these are my words.
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