LIttle Brother

This is my little brother. He is a track and field athlete. Here are some pics of him.

my tracks

I make beats 2 yall. here is a messed up one from a few years ago.

Good Morning

Good morning strangers. The one to two readers a day I have including myself. It is a brand new Monday. The fourth of February. The New York Giants are world champions. And I have a lot of work to do. There are a lot of things I want to do this year. Is it February already? Damn. So there are less than 11 left in the year to start doing the things I want to do. I believe the most important thing for me to do this year is to hold fast and stay strong. And fight like hell. Stay tuned. And tell your friends.

say hello

Lets keep this short and simple. I miss myself. I miss being creative. With all that is happening in my life it is hard for me to be me. I come home to my studio every day and find it hard to be creative. There are things that i can look forward to, but I do not really see any promise. This is a dark time. However I have to and I must see it through. I been through it before and I will see through it again. I need to find my voice. Then I need to listen to it and act on it. Then I will be me, and I will be whole.

Today Tommorow

I have to be at work in the morning. I dread it. I can do LOT better than I am doing right now. I just need to clear my head and get it all together.

Time Not Enough

Trying times these are. Trying to do something big this year. Lots of creativity to express. it's getting hard for me concentrate and focus on something right now. Do not know why that is but I have been of a "devil may care" attitude lately. What I do need to focus on is how I can get some money. I've put on a considerable amount of weight in the last few years. My left ankle is in immense pain. MRI said it was a cyst on the top and tendinitis etc etc.We got the clothing line to work on, the Internet thing to develop, the music, to tell the truth it has taken its toll on me. If I had some money to show for it it would be better. That is why winning is important. I hate to lose.

Passion

Passion. Who can have it? The young? The ambitious? The inspired? I had it and I lost it. Somewhere along the way I lost it. If there were a time and a place to pinpoint the exact time and hour it left I could probably do that. I can blame the world a thousand times for a thousand different things that have harmed me. I am not dead yet, so that means I can still do something good with my life. I had always fantasized about leaving town and becoming a rebel poet slash rockstar. I am about to be twenty seven years old. So I guess its safe to say that It did not happen. I even wanted to be a writer at one time. A published one who wrote books and articles not self aggrandizing flurries in blog entries. That has not happened yet. Now as I approach my thirties, I would be content to start a family and settle down with the right girl. It seems to me however that every time I think I fall in love I seem to fall on my face. So, passion? It seems to have been negatively conditioned toward me. there will need to be some sort of revival. And there will need to be some sort of hunger. Where does hunger come from? If I could create that, then I could create passion, and if I can create passion then I can create greatness. What I do desire however is rest. And it seems that I can do that quite easily. There is something else I desire, or someone, and I am woe to pursue that . Passion can be a poisonous thing.

The Remnants

All I have left are the memories. After all this time, I am still captive by them. Haunting secret it is. Cannot be spoken or thought of, a time sped through and catapulted from with deliberate force. The prison must be destroyed. The walls broken down. It is as if I were a shell the way that I am right now. Holding to hope and building on dreams. The thought often occurs that I am dead. But I still have to wake up and go to work in the morning.

July 4th 2007

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