Dreams

Keep looking. Keep fighting. Do not die. Do not fall. Keep striving. Keep working. Keep earning. Keep dreaming. An old woman told me life is long. Very long. She should know. I am knowing. With each new day, each hour subtracted, I see my dreams manifest and my nightmares retracted.

I have deciphered it to be true, that death becomes me, so the inverse is true. Life becomes you.

Phenomena

She becomes your existence

A boon for your bane

She becomes your passion

You become beautifully insane

How fast is the slide from man to child

When a man becomes captured by a woman's smile

She becomes your mission

Succeed or fail

She is your passion

The wind in your sail

And for whatever reason should she choose another man

She becomes the test

To which you grade your stand

There is something phenomenal about the guise of a woman

Her skin

Her scent

Her mind

Her soul

There is something phenomenal about the guise of a lady

Her touch

Her love

Her sacrifice

Her whole

1146

Goodnight Blogville. It's a Saturday and a very busy weekend for The Black Rider. So I'm going into my archives for today's post.

In my teens and early twenties (which is like last week, I'm still 25 for another 8 days) I considered myself to be a rebellious and enlightened poet. I wrote hundreds if not thousands of poems and and a few short stories. This is poem # 1146.

Comfort

I've cried enough/

So I have a relationship/

With my tears/

They seldom touch my tongue/

But my eyes always taste them/

My tears taste like/

Rest/

The juice of my stress/

They are very warm/

Like the blood flushed hands/

Of an anxious lover/

On a smiling face/

Faith

You can lose faith in the world, you can lose faith in your friends, you can lose faith in God, you can lose faith in yourself. It is dangerous to lose such a thing as faith, because faith is all we have.

faith: 1. complete trust or confidence. 2. strong belief in a religion. 3. a system of religious belief. origin Latin fides. [Oxford Dictionary of Current English, paperback, 2001]

There you have it. A dictionary definition of faith. And in that definition lies the fault and the faculty of that word.

'Complete trust or confidence' meaning that your dedication to the subject is unbroken, unyielding, a perfect circle, and in there being, an impossibility, and an improbability. An ideal that exist in theory but not in practice.

Have faith that things will work some of the time and not all of the time and you will be adjusted to the workings of this world.

There will be irregularities in everything there is, so that it can fit in this puzzle of life. Any idea that states absolutes as whole and complete truths are not only obnoxious, but ignorant and inconsiderate.

Have faith that things will work some of the time and when they do not, have faith that you will be strong enough to bear the loss and have the reserve within you to recover from it.

Then you will be whole, complete and well adjusted.

On Your Mark, Get Set, Get Money

So I've read "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie, and I've read "The 48 laws of Power" by Robert Greene, and I've also read "The Art of Seduction" also from Robert Greene.

Those books work. I have friends, influence over people, power, and if the stars are right I can be very seductive. But I do not have money. I did my budget forecast for the next 2 weeks and I'm banking a whopping total of 30 dollars and 5o cents. After my Internet bills and my gas and credit card and cell phone payments and the rent and what not, I have 30 dollars and 50 cents.

Now what good is having friends if you cannot adequately entertain them or influence over people if you cannot embellish it with a little gratitude or Power if you cannot dress the part or even seductive qualities if you can't indulge in luxuries.

My friends, money is necessary. I need to read a book about money. That's the skill I lack right now. Once I learn how to create that, my circle will be complete. I need to get to the point where after I work out my budget, my bank will be something I can be flexible and productive with.

$30.50 is hardly that.

Monsters and Transgression

I am a monster. A sadistic melancholy manic. It seems to me that this should be tragic, but it could also be beneficial.

I can be a monster in bed. A monster at winning. I would rather have a monster guard my house than a poodle.

Life is tragic and filled with failures. If one is handed lemons one is to make lemonade, if one is handed tragedy one is to write stories and songs. If one is dealt and or creates monstrosities, one is to become a monster.

The world is not built for the week and or feeble. You must be swift, merciless, decisive in all that you do. Then you will have success and annihilate puny fools who stand in your way to greatness and obliterate foes who dare to stand against you.

In my book, it is better to be great and revered, for whatever cause, than to be forgotten and a loser.

Death Becomes Us

You are involved

Eloise and Abelard

I could forget. I could forget it ever existed. Trade one mania for another. I could create an amnesia. Dismiss the very existence of my sorrows.

In Buddhism, they teach you that one way to dispel suffering is to dispel desire. Well, what of dispelling the memory of it.

If I can recall, I can desire and or detest that which I have recalled. I do not want the element of destruction in my life or in my mind, however natural or unnatural it may be, and I do not want to desire something that I cannot, should not, or am not allowed to have.

It would be so much easier if I could just forget it. But I can't. I wear it everyday. I see it everywhere I go. And I hear of it on every radio station and TV show.

I was much happier when I was clean. When I never knew of unrelenting desires. When I was a child and the world and the things in it were the concerns of other and not of mine.

There is a Poem called Eloise and Abelard, from the English Poet Alexander Pope. It is about a forty year old French teacher 'Abelard' and an eighteen year old student 'Eloise' who he falls in love with in the eighteenth century.

As the story goes, and it is a true one, Abelard gets Eloise pregnant. They marry in secret against the wishes of her her family and her family in turn contracts a gang of thugs to castrate Abelard as he sleeps.

Abelard being a teacher and philosopher takes this in stride and adopts the life of a Eunuch, first joining a monastery and then living the life of a hermit.

Eloise does not take it so easily. She is still in love with him. She still want to make love to him and dreams about it even though it is physically impossible.

They exchange a series of four letters which become the subject of folklore and history and the subject of Mr. Pope's poem which takes the point of view of Eloise who lusts for the love of Abelard but is unable to be quenched of it.

Instead she begs to forget. She says only God can take the place of her dear Abelard and wants to forget that he ever became.

Such is my pain. Such is my dementia.

I cannot dispel desire when it arises and I will not create destruction so I can detest something. My own personal morality is my folly.

I want what is not possible. I have experienced a fantasy and believed it to be real. Yoda said to Anakin, you must learn to let go the things that you fear to lose. Wise words.

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;"
Eloise and Abelard,
Alexander Pope

Comics

I have rediscovered comics. The paper magazines of illustration, mythologies and heroics have come back full swing in my life. I like them.

Every Friday when I leave work around 4: 30 or so, I stop by the comic book shop in West Hempstead, New York called "The Long Box". The owner is long dread locked hair black man who knows his comics and speaks with a voice so deep it is like the voice of God.

He's got X-men, Spider man, Superman, Batman, mostly hero stuff. Classics in long boxes throughout the store. He even has some comics in the back, the black and white Conan the Barbarian titles from my childhood, and he can tell you who wrote, published, and did the artwork for the cover and the lettering in one breath.

He's got the right stuff.

I can always count on him to also have the newest and most entertaining titles. The "Civil Wars" series from marvel, a novel and very interesting approach.

Civil Wars: Spider Man gets unmasked to America, his former secret identity, "Peter Parker" is now pubic knowledge. While he fights alongside his comrades in costume, they refer to him as 'Peter', rather than 'Spidey'.

Captain America and Iron man fight against each other over the "Mutant Registration Act" that requires all persons with super human powers and abilities register with the government.

Captain America takes the stand against the Mutant Registration Act and Iron Man takes the stand for it. Heroes choose sides, Spider man sides with Iron man, the New Avengers and the X-men at large side with Captain America.

It all played out over the summer and fall of last year, 2006, and now we have the "Casualties of War" series.

To me this is engrossing stuff. And entertaining. I am Twenty five years old and a few weeks away from becoming Twenty Six.

I am now officially a "Comic head".

Amen.

Set Your House in Order.

So it's another Friday night. What are we going to do? Go out and get drunk, high and laid right? If you can afford to, by all means yes. But remember it is still the beginning of the year. Now is a good time to set your house in order.


We have a three day weekend guys. I think this is the best time to get ready to clean your house of all its clutter, throw out the trash, get your calendars and affairs prioritized and in order.


There is a lot of money to be made. Us humans have countless needs. Find out what your purpose is in this world. Become intentional. Make an offering.


I declare today set your house in order day. I know I will be doing it. Lets grow together and change the world for our children.