Monsters and Transgression

I am a monster. A sadistic melancholy manic. It seems to me that this should be tragic, but it could also be beneficial.

I can be a monster in bed. A monster at winning. I would rather have a monster guard my house than a poodle.

Life is tragic and filled with failures. If one is handed lemons one is to make lemonade, if one is handed tragedy one is to write stories and songs. If one is dealt and or creates monstrosities, one is to become a monster.

The world is not built for the week and or feeble. You must be swift, merciless, decisive in all that you do. Then you will have success and annihilate puny fools who stand in your way to greatness and obliterate foes who dare to stand against you.

In my book, it is better to be great and revered, for whatever cause, than to be forgotten and a loser.

Death Becomes Us

You are involved

Eloise and Abelard

I could forget. I could forget it ever existed. Trade one mania for another. I could create an amnesia. Dismiss the very existence of my sorrows.

In Buddhism, they teach you that one way to dispel suffering is to dispel desire. Well, what of dispelling the memory of it.

If I can recall, I can desire and or detest that which I have recalled. I do not want the element of destruction in my life or in my mind, however natural or unnatural it may be, and I do not want to desire something that I cannot, should not, or am not allowed to have.

It would be so much easier if I could just forget it. But I can't. I wear it everyday. I see it everywhere I go. And I hear of it on every radio station and TV show.

I was much happier when I was clean. When I never knew of unrelenting desires. When I was a child and the world and the things in it were the concerns of other and not of mine.

There is a Poem called Eloise and Abelard, from the English Poet Alexander Pope. It is about a forty year old French teacher 'Abelard' and an eighteen year old student 'Eloise' who he falls in love with in the eighteenth century.

As the story goes, and it is a true one, Abelard gets Eloise pregnant. They marry in secret against the wishes of her her family and her family in turn contracts a gang of thugs to castrate Abelard as he sleeps.

Abelard being a teacher and philosopher takes this in stride and adopts the life of a Eunuch, first joining a monastery and then living the life of a hermit.

Eloise does not take it so easily. She is still in love with him. She still want to make love to him and dreams about it even though it is physically impossible.

They exchange a series of four letters which become the subject of folklore and history and the subject of Mr. Pope's poem which takes the point of view of Eloise who lusts for the love of Abelard but is unable to be quenched of it.

Instead she begs to forget. She says only God can take the place of her dear Abelard and wants to forget that he ever became.

Such is my pain. Such is my dementia.

I cannot dispel desire when it arises and I will not create destruction so I can detest something. My own personal morality is my folly.

I want what is not possible. I have experienced a fantasy and believed it to be real. Yoda said to Anakin, you must learn to let go the things that you fear to lose. Wise words.

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;"
Eloise and Abelard,
Alexander Pope

Comics

I have rediscovered comics. The paper magazines of illustration, mythologies and heroics have come back full swing in my life. I like them.

Every Friday when I leave work around 4: 30 or so, I stop by the comic book shop in West Hempstead, New York called "The Long Box". The owner is long dread locked hair black man who knows his comics and speaks with a voice so deep it is like the voice of God.

He's got X-men, Spider man, Superman, Batman, mostly hero stuff. Classics in long boxes throughout the store. He even has some comics in the back, the black and white Conan the Barbarian titles from my childhood, and he can tell you who wrote, published, and did the artwork for the cover and the lettering in one breath.

He's got the right stuff.

I can always count on him to also have the newest and most entertaining titles. The "Civil Wars" series from marvel, a novel and very interesting approach.

Civil Wars: Spider Man gets unmasked to America, his former secret identity, "Peter Parker" is now pubic knowledge. While he fights alongside his comrades in costume, they refer to him as 'Peter', rather than 'Spidey'.

Captain America and Iron man fight against each other over the "Mutant Registration Act" that requires all persons with super human powers and abilities register with the government.

Captain America takes the stand against the Mutant Registration Act and Iron Man takes the stand for it. Heroes choose sides, Spider man sides with Iron man, the New Avengers and the X-men at large side with Captain America.

It all played out over the summer and fall of last year, 2006, and now we have the "Casualties of War" series.

To me this is engrossing stuff. And entertaining. I am Twenty five years old and a few weeks away from becoming Twenty Six.

I am now officially a "Comic head".

Amen.

Set Your House in Order.

So it's another Friday night. What are we going to do? Go out and get drunk, high and laid right? If you can afford to, by all means yes. But remember it is still the beginning of the year. Now is a good time to set your house in order.


We have a three day weekend guys. I think this is the best time to get ready to clean your house of all its clutter, throw out the trash, get your calendars and affairs prioritized and in order.


There is a lot of money to be made. Us humans have countless needs. Find out what your purpose is in this world. Become intentional. Make an offering.


I declare today set your house in order day. I know I will be doing it. Lets grow together and change the world for our children.

Sunlight.

Nothing will do me better right now than sunlight and air. The minerals of stone and salt and the nutrients of the coconut plant and the mango tree and all the glories of my country, Jamaica.

New York is nice. I heart New York. But it is very cold an uninhabitable here right now.

I woke up this morning to ice rain, then as the day progressed there came the water rain, and as I left work came the snow.

God has a sense of humor. Believe me. He really does.

Nothing can do me now like Jamaica. I'm dreaming of white sand beaches right now. A spa. Blue sky and sunlight. This is madness.

Why Must I Read Everything?

I must really be obsessive in some fashion. Could it be that I read to much? And to top it off at that, could it be that I read too much junk?

I try to be as contemporary and informed as possible but can never seem to get all the knowledge I want at a fast enough pace.

It may very well be that I read too slow. That my appetite for learning is not on par with my hunger and desire for knowledge as well as learning.

And to fix that problem will take even more reading of speed reading books.

Is is worth it? All this reading that we do. You can't take it with you, you know, your learning. It stays here on this earth just like your riches, whatever quantity of that you may have.

So why strive? I try to read the best and most informative articles from every newspaper I see, and every magazine that strikes my fancy.

I would be quiet content to stay here in my studio and read about the world all day from daily newspapers and the Internet and watch it on TV and only go out to see it for myself about once a month when there is really something interesting going on. Like something I would want to witness firsthand and write a first person account of.

I want to see every good movie. Right now the movie du jour for me is "Factory Girl" starring Sienna Miller. Looks very interesting.

Its seems as is if I have a case not only of information overload, but also acute information pollution.

Clean out and filter the useless worthless information, like a review of a restaurant you have no intention of ever visiting, and the album review of a band you have no intention of ever listening to in your lifetime.

But then at the end of the day, even the good information is temporal. You can't take it when you die.

Or can you?

Matters not. I say to read what gratifies and edifies you. Read the words that enrich your life. Learn them.

I guess that is why I read so much. I am greedy and I want everything. I want wealth of riches and gratification. But I can never read everything. Eventually, everything becomes the trash.

Easy Come, Easy Go.

Good morning Blogville. So nice to be here again. I had a good weekend so far. Got my hair cut, went to see a show yesterday, support the arts, it was good. Life is short man, you got to live in the now you know.

It is very cold here in New York. And my car drives very crazy. I have a 1993 Volvo 850. Good car. Mine is just old. 170,000 miles old. Driving that thing across the New York streets makes me feel like I'm in some futuristic film and I got a raggedy old car trudging over depressed terrain. And I can't afford to fix it.

I have no problem taking the bus. I should think about doing that, cause this car thing is taxing and right now it's just more than I can bear. Stay tuned though Blogville, I will have pictures of the show to show you guys, and it will all be edited with trusty Google Picasa.

Say Farewell.

So she doesn't have to wake up anymore. Her pain will not weigh so heavily on her shoulders no longer. She can rest in peace.

Sure they will still duel over lawsuits and the paternity and the pathology and toxicology. But she will not be there for it. The pain became too much and she expired prematurely. What was left for her? The remnants of youth fading so quickly, her son suddenly dead on the day her second child was born. Her companion consistently raking in motherloads of mullah for her interviews and reality TV shows and her inheritance.

So many of the players in this parade are passed away. The 67 year old step son forging a block between Anna Nicole Smith and 500 million dollars: gone. The first heir to her fortune, her oldest male child: gone. Her companion is left to sort out the affairs now.

Mr. Howard K. Stern.
When will your tears fall. Who will do those million dollar entertainment tonight interviews? Is there a book to be released? Many questions arise now Mr. Stern, which I'm sure you have thought out the answers to. A lot of this stinks to high hell. A "commitment ceremony" after you stepson's death in the Bahamas, a beaming smile on both your faces.

She was tired. Very tired. She has left this world and said farewell. What say you?

Matters not much. Anna Nicole Smith is asleep now. And where she is, she is with old man daddy moneybags J. Howard Marshall, and her son Daniel, and she can relax. You are still here, and you Mr. Howard K. Stern, have statements to make.

Peace.

Take Out the Paper (And the Trash).

Good night blogville. How I wish this was all I had to do in life. Read and post blogs. But there are more important matters at hand aren't there, like taking out the paper and the trash. And there is so much paper.

In this digital world you would think the amount of paper waste a household creates would greatly be diminished. That is not so. Most of the trash in my house is paper.

If you were to weigh the weight of trash from food and plastics and steel and the weight of trash from paper, I'm almost certain that the weight of the paper trash would be on par with any variable of garbage found in the modern home even in 2007.

You think we would have had enough. With our cable Internet and our satellite TV and our cell phone and text message and web sites. You would think we would have had enough of this paper mess.

Not so. There is still the everyday deluge of Junk mail, Credit Card offers, bank solicitations, Club fliers, newspapers (some of us are required by our jobs to read three daily), business cards, receipts. Trashy books.

All of this can be very overwhelming. Paper is almost a part of everything we do. There is toilet paper, newspaper, newsletter, magazines, posters, poster ads, tocket stubs, and the like.

How do we process so much information so fast. You can spend 24 hours a day processing the various paper press of your community.

And the trash. That's what all this paper becomes eventually. Trash. The Sunday times and all its magazines and coupons and circulars and arts and leisure section become trash come Monday morning. So do your plastic cups after you've drank the contents. And so does your french fry cup and your hamburger case and the wrapper its in and the brown paper bag they put it in.

We should all eat digital food. You got your plastic soda bottles and water bottles and your plastic ketchup bottles and your plastic condoms and your plastic this and your plastic that.

All of this becomes trash.

Is there digital trash. The delete button is most convenient. Look how easily we dispose of unwanted files on our computers. And all we have to do is raise an index finger. Not even a hand. If you so desire you can somewhat trade your terrestrial life for a digital one. My cellphone and bank and credit card companies all offer me the option of cancelling paper billing solely for online billing. I always deny them for the simple fact that if my online fails me I still the paper in hand to take care of business. Did I just imply that I am backing up my online activities with tangible objects.

The times they are a changing.

Storage had gone from space to material. From four walls to carbon to glass. It will take a long time though. Blogs and what not are the way of tomorrow, but you can't buy it a newsstand for 50 cents a pop. Till then, organize your paper, organize your cash, set your accounts in order, and take out the trash.